Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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