is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
