...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
