At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
