Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
