Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
