the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
