woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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