am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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