I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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