Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
