so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
