Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
