Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
