I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
