I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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