bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
