At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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