that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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