so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
