I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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