HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
