If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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