I just cut my nipple shaving
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
