I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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