living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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