they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
