it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
