I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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