Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
