after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize