38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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