I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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