Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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