And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Alive.
So much puke
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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