she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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