You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize