There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
