I want to stick my p in your. b.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
