I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
