when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
