You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
