is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
In other news, I just burned my penis
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
