Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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