i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
