she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
