ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time