I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.