Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
