hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you traded sex for a burrito?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
