Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
