ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
