he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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