Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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