Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
God, I missed his penis.
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