so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
