you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
