Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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