Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
