Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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