if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
