The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
