before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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