We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
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Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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